Ingrid Clayton

Byť sebou je odvážne a slobodné. Mať sa na prvom mieste seba je sebavedomé. Zdravé hranice sú vyjadrením rešpektu k sebe a druhým. Všetci to chceme, no ako deti sme si to nemohli dovoliť. Mnohí z nás vyrastali v prostredí, kde sa prirodzené prejavy potláčali a my sme sa museli prispôsobovať okoliu často až nezdravým a veľmi škodlivým spôsobom. Tieto naučené vzorce správania môžeme nazvať stratégiami prežitia. Naozaj nimi boli – od okolia sme boli existenčne závislí. Ako dospelí však už nie sme – a napriek tomu vo vzťahoch často fungujeme ako malé zakríknuté deti s pocitom nízkej sebahodnoty, ktoré nevedia, ako sa za seba postaviť ani ako si sami naplniť vlastné potreby. Zotrvávame v toxických väzbách, tolerujeme nevhodné správanie – sme zúfalo závislí, pretože potrebujeme, aby nás ľudia mali radi, a nevieme, ako z toho von. Táto kniha je sprievodcom a zároveň osobnou výpoveďou úspešnej psychoterapeutky; ženy, ktorá sa krok za krokom dokázala vymaniť z ťažkej traumy úslužnosti. Obsahuje osobné príbehy viacerých klientov, ktorí to takisto dokázali a postupne žijú čoraz krajšie životy. Je o odvahe oslobodiť sa a ponúka užitočné nástroje podložené dlhoročnou psychoterapeutickou praxou. Pretože ak chceme naozaj žiť a nájsť sa, potrebujeme sa v prvom rade pustiť všetkého, čo nám v tom bráni.

Often mistakenly labeled as codependency, fawning can present as being more of who someone is: smart, generous,successful, funny, or beautiful, while for others it's about being less: vocal, ethnic, creative, self-assured, or boundaried. Fawning can be visible or invisible, it can take the shape of sex, money, or the perpetual emotional regulationof others but one thing remains constant: it is about finding safety in an unsafe world, often at our own expense. Written by fawning expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton, Fawning will be the first of its kind, shininga light on this under-represented, but extremely important piece of the trauma puzzle. Clayton draws upon bothpersonal and clinical experiences of the trauma response and provides resources and tools for anyone who has lostintrinsic parts of themselves by constantly orienting to safety through self-abandonment. This book is for thosewho want to finally lessen their shame about patterns that haven't served for a long time. It is for doctors, therapists, and all those in the helping professions who need to understand this form and function of how the body seeks tosurvive trauma. This book is for the cycle breakers who don't want to carry unprocessed trauma down to futuregenerations or foster another generation of fawners who aren't entitled to the full spectrum of human emotion,shrinking in the face of what caregivers can tolerate. It is for those who have been told to read all the literature oncodependency and still don't see themselves reflected. Fawning is for anyone who has felt stuck in relationships, longing for meaningful, reciprocal connections and most importantly, a true relationship to Self.

<p><b>Fawning is the vital, newly-discovered topic in psychology. You've heard of fight, flight and freeze - but fawning might be the most common trauma response of all. Learn how to work through it and find freedom with the leading expert, Dr. Ingrid Clayton.</b><br><br>Do you avoid conflict? <br>Do you tend to take the blame? <br>Do you take care of others at the expense of yourself? <br>Do you live in a state of hypervigilance?<br><br> Fawning can present as being <i>more </i>of who someone is: smart, generous, successful, funny, or beautiful, while for others it's about being <i>less</i>: vocal, ethnic, creative, self-assured or boundaried. Fawning can be visible or invisible; it can manifest in our relationships to sex or money, or in the tendency to 'people-please'; but one thing remains constant: it is about finding safety in an unsafe world, often at our own expense.<br><br>Fawning expert and clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton is here to bring clarity and support. The first book by a practitioner with years of experience, <i>Fawning </i>will shine a light on this under-represented but crucial piece of the trauma puzzle. Drawing on twenty years of clinical psychology work, as well as a lifetime of insight as a recovering fawner herself, this groundbreaking book brings this emerging concept into the mainstream conversation. Readers will learn WHY we fawn, HOW to recognize the signs of fawning and WHAT we can do to successfully 'unfawn', using Clayton's invaluable tools and resources to find meaningful, reciprocal connections - and finally be ourselves.</p>