Gábor Szappanos

The last cheer-leader with her long thighs in silken stockings, in red miniskirt and white boots, burst like a balloon, too. There were exactly twelve of them. And they all looked so realistic… and so desirable, too. St. Peter made a deep sigh at experiencing the new failure, frowned with his white brows resentfully and accusingly and looked with his pungent and blue eyes at the designer, at the great heavenly magician Albert Einstein. Since the Second Advent of Christ time has been passing by with cheerless monotony and they had to enjoy themselves somehow in the heavenly Jerusalem. It was not particularly comforting either if the Redeemer himself appeared on the scene because in such cases He tenderly but categorically hauled Peter over the coals asking him why he was juggling there all the time, he’d better alit on the Earth that was made climatically and demographically livable, a new earthly Paradise actually, and do some useful work there. He added that Peter would have it that if he started working, for instance cultivated a beautiful little garden, cut roses, or returned to his original job, which was fishing, he would not need the sight of those cheer-leaders made of the wandering atoms of very sparse ether, of light- and quantum-particles and existing just for a couple of seconds. 

Deep in the Queen An erotic historical picaresque novel by Gábor Szappanos (A synopsis) The “manuscript” of the novel has been found in a big library of the capital after an eighty year of encryption. (To encrypt it was the instruction of a “fabled author,” who can be only Gyula Krúdy although his name is never mentioned. On the other hand, the book is such a literary fiction that never could have been written by Krúdy). Briefly, the story is the following: the writer, who calls himself Gyula Kandúr (Julius Tomcat), is just having his lunch at Majmunka’s house, when all of a sudden another Sindbad shows up, who is a sort of Frankenstein and existed only in Kandúr’s imagination so far. The two doubles initiate a fight. A big hassle is started, but none of them is able to overcome the other, so they decide to come to an agreement: let a “who has a longer wind” test tell who the real Sindbad of the two is. The winner will be him. And the test is the following: Kandúr is chained to the radiator, and from there he must watch Frankenstein-Sindbad making love to Majmunka’s concupiscent female dancers. Thanks to his imagination Kandúr wins. Then the two counterparts, with the help of a flying carpet, take a flight to the city of Petra some 2,000 years earlier. They found themselves in the middle of an orgastic evening party. They were captured by two guards of the king who needed still another two companions at his table. The dinner is not “free”: after it they both will have to “work hard:” one of them will have to speed (make happy)till dawn the wife of the impotent king, the other - the goddess of the city who has the shape of a black cubical stone placed in front of the gates to the nether world in the sanctuary. Kandúr will have to rejoice with the queen, Sindbad with the cubic stone goddess. The description of the love-making with the queen: it lasts for an atrociously (sanguinarily) long time, for about five hours, and is filled with a continuous internal fight demanding Kandúr to have a very long wind. Viz. if he is unable to “perform well”, he will be thrown down into the deepest pit of the cemetery, where he is going to meet his death. (The cubic stone goddess closes the aperture of the cemetery pit, and the nether world starts under the pit). During their love-making the queen opens her heart and soul to Kandúr, retells the strange and curious secrets of the city, and as a matter of fact that is the essence of the novel. It turns out from the queen’s words that the city has been in the magic power of a Persian magician (he is the King)for twenty years, and made the good inhabitants of the Nabateus Petra sexmaniacs. The ugly cubic stone goddess is also the magician’s work, for earlier it was the Goddess of Beauty, and her beautiful statue stood in the main square of the city. Then the queen, who starts liking (perhaps loving) Kandúr more and more as a woman, puts him wise to some secrets. She tells him that it is immaterial whether he “performs” well or not, because he will get into the pit at all events. But if he follows her instructions, he can escape from there together with his companion via the nether world. But as a favor in return she asks him to utter the proper magical words at the proper places of the nether world to stop the magic power of the king and magician in the city. And so it happens. Despite the fact that Kandúr had enough wind, he was thrown into the deep pit where he meets Sindbad, and they start their way down into the nether world, because according to the most detailed instructions of the queen that was the only way to delivery and freedom. (This nether world was also created by the magician, and actually it is an exact copy of the city above, where the dead of the upper city “live” their “life of dead” as souls…). Here our heroes will again come across most exciting and interesting adventures and phenomena, but finally they manage to escape, and again with the help of the flying carpet, and the mag