Jamil Zaki

Cynicism is making us sick; Stanford psychologist Dr Jamil Zaki has the cure - a 'ray of light for dark days' (Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author). For thousands of years, people have argued about whether humanity is selfish or generous, cruel or kind. But recently, our answers have changed. In 1972, half of Americans agreed that most people can be trusted; by 2018, that figure had fallen to 30%. Different generations, genders, religions and political parties can't seem to agree on anything, except that they all think human virtue is evaporating. Cynicism is a perfectly understandable response to a world full of injustice and inequality. But in many cases, cynicism is misplaced. Dozens of studies find that people fail to realise how kind, generous and open-minded others really are. And cynical thinking worsens social problems, because our beliefs don't just interpret the world; they change it. When we expect people to be awful, we coax awfulness out of them. Cynicism is a disease, with a history, symptoms and a cure. Through science and storytelling, Jamil Zaki imparts the secret for beating back cynicism: hopeful scepticism. This approach doesn't mean putting our faith in every politician or influencer. It means thinking critically about people and our problems, while simultaneously acknowledging and encouraging our strengths. Far from being naive, hopeful scepticism is a more precise way of understanding others, and paying closer attention re-balances how you think about human nature. As more of us do this, we can take steps towards building the world we truly want.

Empathy has been on people's mind a lot lately. Philosophers, evolutionary scientists and indeed former President Obama agree that an increase in empathy could advance us beyond the hatred, violence and polarization in which the world seems caught. Others disagree, arguing it is easiest to empathize with people who look, talk or think like us. As a result, empathy can inspire nepotism, racism and worse. Having studied the neuroscience and psychology of empathy for over a decade, Jamil Zaki thinks both sides of this debate have a point. Empathy is sometimes an engine for moral progress, and other times for moral failure. But Zaki also thinks that both sides are wrong about how empathy works. Both scientists and non-scientists commonly argue that empathy is something that happens to you, sort of like an emotional knee-jerk reflex. Second, they believe it happens more to some people than others. This lines people up along a spectrum, with deep empaths on one end and psychopaths on the other. What's more, wherever we are on that spectrum, we're stuck there. In The War for Kindness, Zaki lays out a very different view of how empathy works, one that breaks these two assumptions. Empathy is not a reflex; it's a choice. We choose empathy (or apathy) constantly: when we read a tragic novel, or cross the street to avoid a homeless person, or ask a distraught friend what's the matter. This view has crucial consequences: if empathy is less a trait (like height), and more a skill (like being good at word games), then we can improve at it. By choosing it more often, we can flex our capabilities and grow more empathic over time. We can also "tune" empathy, ramping it up in situations where it will help and turning it down when it might backfire. Zaki takes us from the world of doctors who train medical students to empathise better to social workers who help each other survive empathising too much. From police trainers who help cadets avoid becoming violent cops to political advocates who ask white Americans to literally walk a (dusty) mile in Mexican immigrants' shoes. This book will give you a deepened understanding of how empathy works, how to control it and how to become the type of empathiser you want to be.